The Fallout

“Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.
People are people, and sometimes it doesn’t work out,
Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out,” – Taylor Swift.

We meet a lot of people in life, from that person waiting in front of you in line at Starbucks, to a friend you met during 3rd period Science, to even your next door neighbor. But sometimes, those people that you met suddenly become strangers. And time comes, and you’re sitting and looking at old memories, and you think, “We used to be such great friends.”

What happened?

I’ve sat and I’ve thought about the friends I’ve made in high school. Granted, I made a lot of friends. But only a few have stuck through with me for 3 years. And after realizing this, I asked myself, “How do we escape the fallout?”

How do we prevent the ending of a friendship, a relationship with a person?

Friendships take place in stages. First you meet the person. And, you’re awkward with each other. You two aren’t so sure whether you guys have the same interests, personalities. Everything is tentative, you’re testing the waters.

This is the “Enchanted” stage.

“I’ll spend forever wondering if you knew
I was enchanted to meet you” – Taylor Swift

And then, finally, you become friends. And in this stage, you’re slowly getting to know each other more. You start to learn each other’s quirks, dreams, pet peeves, favorite foods. In this stage, you’re hanging out more and more.

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Sharing a cone of our favorite ice cream

 

My favorite stage, the 22 stage.

“Everything will be alright
If you keep me next to you” – Taylor Swift

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Best friends

And if you have made it this far into stage 3, the “I’m Only Me When I’m With You” stage. You guys are extremely close friends. You’re comfortable with each other. It’s natural to talk to each other often and nothing is forced anymore.

“I’m only up when you’re not down.
Don’t wanna fly if you’re still on the ground.” – Taylor Swift

I found that it is after this stage when people stop trying. You stop trying to get to know each other, you stop making an effort to hang out. The static feed between you two stops.

The fallout is happening.

The daily talks start to turn into weekly talks. And then into monthly talks. You’re lucky if you see each other once every 2 weeks to hang out.

And suddenly, your friendship is just there. You and your friend just stop talking.

It’s like still air. The wind blows nothing. No clouds wisp in the sky.

Nothing is being said.

No one is trying.

You might as well call your friendship dead.

I believe that friendships end because someone stops trying. I mean, isn’t that the case with everything? You fail because you stop trying.

As I think back into my past friendships, this is always true. You may get into a fight with a friend, and you may never speak again. But that is because you stopped trying to gather the broken pieces and string them together into a stronger friendship.

I wish that I tried with all my friends. Perhaps my biggest regret is losing friends. And no, not in a terrible, “I’m never talking to you again,” situation. I’m talking about a situation, when, seeing each other in the hall, no one says hello.

And it breaks my heart every time that happens.

I call this part “the fallout.” This beautiful sculpture of friendship, now crumbled into pieces….

Those pieces on the ground, I call ‘the fallout.” It’s the fallout because slowly and slowly, the memories start to fade and fall off the sculpture.

Maybe life got in the way, and that caused one of us to stop trying. And obviously, life is to blame for that reason. But maybe, perhaps the strongest friends are the ones that get through life, and still have the energy to try in the friendship.

I watched a video and I listened to a song that inspired this post. Coincidentally, it wasn’t on purpose. But reflecting on what I watched and listened to made me realize the connection between the video and the song.

It made me realize that I have too, lost friends because of the fallout.

I hope that one day, the friends who I have now will stay with me forever. I know that we all part our different roads once we graduate high school. But, I don’t want to let go of the laughs, the smiles, and the memories made.

I want to stop the fallout from ever happening to me, again.

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