I sat here for the last hour attempting to write a decent blog post, and I have nothing. My half attempts at writing have been utter fails and my inspiration meter is running low. I want to talk about a lot of little things, but it doesn’t fall under one topics. Dogs. School. Failure. My head is jumbled with a bunch of small topics that don’t amount to anything. So this week, I have a bit of a mosh pit.
My first topic is related to the two little balls of fur that I have sitting on my lap. My god children, Bella and Bubba. These two teacup Yorkies belong to my cousin and while she’s away on some business, I, the Godmother, have been assigned to babysitting duty. I adore these little devils despite the fact that they have peed and pooped every time I have let them out of their fenced area. I adore their endless energy and happiness. They run freely around the upstairs, that is until they reach the beginning of the stairs, where they pause and cautiously lean over the edge to determine if they can handle the stairs. Keep in mind, these are teacup puppies and each weigh about only 2 pounds. They seem to have all the energy in the world to bark at the top of their tiny lungs and to jump around demanding attention while I’m trying to finish my Calculus homework. That is until the heat starts to get to them and they wander off to find a comfortable bed and a nice cool dish of water. I’m currently sitting next to a fan, so I scooped them from their little beds and they are now lounging in my lap, fast asleep like little angels.
Speaking of sleep, it has been all I’ve been wishing for this past week. School has been hectic. Sleep has taken the back seat to my grades, but I really wish it didn’t have to. Weekends are my sleep catching up days, so don’t you dare try to wake me up before noon. I’m not sure why this week has been particularly stressful and sleepless. I’ve had tests every day, but there is just something weighing down on me that makes everything just a bit harder.
This week, I’ve also had to learn to deal with failure. Failure doesn’t come easy to me because I want to be the best that I can be . The best that I KNOW I can be. But sometimes, life just doesn’t work out that way huh? Last Friday, I failed a test. I was psyched because I thought I was ready and I would definitely passed, but when I found out I failed, I totally broke down. Everything that has stressed me out up to that point just gushed out of me. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Why? I made a stupid mistake. It was apparently a big stupid mistake though. I can’t blame her though because it was all my fault. I just felt like it was a stupid fault. It frustrated me that others passed, but somehow, I couldn’t pass this extremely easy test. I felt like a failure. I felt stupid. I felt lost….. I went home and I passed out from sheer exhaustion and spent the entire weekend moping. My hard work hadn’t paid off and I frustrated me to no end. My emotions ranged from anger to sadness to disappointment to shame. What was I going to do?’
Over the past week though, I’ve had some comfort from my best friends. They know exactly what to say and how to say it to make you feel better. I thank all my stars for them.
Hoping for a better week to come,