Looking into the Future

It’s kind of scary to think.

“I’m halfway through my Junior year. That means I’m almost to Senior year. High school is almost over.”

Okay, it may a slight exaggeration because I still have a good year and ½ of high school left, but I mean, I’m more than halfway done with high school.

Photo ©2006 by Kainet [CC BY-SA 2.0]
Photo ©2006 by Kainet [CC BY-SA 2.0]
Almost 3 years ago, I dreaded leaving the safe haven of middle school. I didn’t want to go to school of over 3,000 students where I didn’t know more than ½ the people I walked by. I didn’t want to get lost on the campus of endless classrooms. I didn’t want to lose my best friends. I was content to staying where I was. Now, I realize I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Photo ©2010 by Rob MacEwen [CC BY-NC 2.0]
Photo ©2010 by Rob MacEwen [CC BY-NC 2.0]
Everything has changed for the better. I made more best friends and we’re closer than ever. My academic level has risen past my expectations. I’ve found what I’m passionate about doing. The cloudy future has cleared some what, but still, I don’t know what the future is looking like. Right now, it looks like a ball of plain  Play-Doh that has just been mashed by my little cousins. I can’t distinguish a single feature. I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself and my life. There are those people that know exactly what they wanted to do and be since they were little. I am definitely not that person. I have no idea what I want to do..

But before I get totally ahead of myself, I have some important decisions to make regarding senior year. What classes should I take for senior year? Should I take the grueling path of AP classes? Or should I tone down and take the same amount of AP classes? The possibilities are endless

AP Spanish 4? AP English 4? AP Calculus BC? AP Stats? AP Psychology? AP Gov/Econ?

Yikes. That looks beyond scary. 6 AP classes going into senior year? The important year that leads into my college years, another 4 years of the unknown where I find more about myself. Where the path will start to clear just a little bit more. Should I work myself into the ground or should I take the route of relaxation?

I am horrible at decisions. I’m too indecisive. I’m scared of making the wrong choice. I don’t know what I’m going to do and I have only a couple days left to decide.

Sometimes I just wished that my school didn’t offer SO many options. To me, it seems like TOO much. I shouldn’t be complaining about having too many options because my cousin from another state has only 2 choices of AP. I’m fortunate to have over 15 options, but I can’t decide!

What to do…..



One thought on “Looking into the Future”

  1. Hey Mary! I totally agree with you. My future seems so clouded and i’m looking so far into things when I can’t even decide my classes for next year! I feel exactly in the same situation in matter of fact. I’ve always been an indecisive person so the more options, the worse. I’ve always preferred it when my parents or friends chose for me but i realized that in life I’m going to have to make my own decisions so I better be able to decide what I’m going to eat for dinner before I decide what I want to major in! I’ve also been incredibly stressed about colleges as well and AP testing and the SATs. I’m so far behind it feels like I’ve been left in the dust because everyones already taken the SATs and 2 have gotten perfect scores of 2400’s!

    -Frightened Davina Pham


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