There is no instruction manual to anything in life. Even the simple things have different layers that cannot be correctly conveyed through something as simple as an instruction manual. Getting and raising a dog has no step by step instructions. Finding a friend doesn’t have a secret formula to follow.
And it is difficult learning that lesson.
I have always wished there was a recipe that would solve my problems. Something that would tell me the right thing to do in every situation.
And I have spent a long time looking for it. I’ve looked in cabinets. I’ve looked through drawers. This is the first time that allrecipes.com has completely failed me. It isn’t written in any cookbook or a part of any secret mix that has been passed on from generation to generation. In fact, I have yet to meet someone who isn’t clueless about where they are going or what they are doing.
I cannot remember where I found this image, but I do remember that it reminded me distinctly of my life. Not only because I am enrolled in an AP Computer Science class, but also because I figure that we are all programmers, cooks, of our own life. We make our code, recipes. And we decide what goes in and what stays out.
I find that I am either completely sure of my actions, or I am tip-toeing through life. There is no middle ground. My plans are either foolproof or filled with holes. To be honest, I am mostly the second.
The thing about these pictures is that neither is right. Knowing what you’re doing does not necessarily mean that you are in control. There is also the point that says if what you are doing is right or not. There are many people who destroy their life, know exactly what they are doing, and continue to ruin their relationships anyways. Does this make them a “god”? Knowing what you are doing is not he only requirement for having your life togehter. I think that a person needs to have a goal in life. Nobody can be in control of their lives without a goal. The first picture is only applicable if the person knows exactly what they want and know how to achieve it, without a hitch.
The first picture is what I want to be but the second is what I am. (No I am not a dog).
Sometimes, by a strange stroke of luck, I manage to concoct a brew that works in the situation that I have been forced to figure out. I don’t know what I am doing. In fact, most of the time I don’t understand what my ingredients are. I throw everything into a pot and hope that it will all turn out OK. I never expect it to be good for fear of disappoint, and if it ends up working well I am ecstatic.
But the thing about me is that I don’t mind being the second picture. I don’t believe in destiny or anything like that. I don’t believe that all the ingredients are just there for me to take and make a meal out of without having to work for it.
Nothing worth having comes without a price.
If I don’t know what I am doing half the time, I am ok with that. I am ok with wandering through life without a clear plan. Without clear cut measurements.
My life isn’t a recipe with a perfect outcome. It has some egg shells in it. An unmixed flour clump or two. Maybe a salt patch here or there.
And I am OK with that. I don’t know if that is good or not, but I don’t really care.